Resources that support the unconditional welcome of people of all sexual orientations, gender identities & their families in the church home of their choice.
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Resources that support the unconditional welcome of people of all sexual orientations, gender identities & their families in the church home of their choice. | |||||||||
| Annotated Bibliography | Articles & Sermons | Educational Materials | Online Resources | Video & Audio |
Materials here are listed as potential resources, not as an endorsement by the Institute for Welcoming Resources. This does not represent a complete list of all available in this subject area. Some resources are older and may be out of print, but most are available from several online booksellers or each organization's website.
This is indeed the complete guide for same-sex grooms and brides, including a fascinating historical look at gay and lesbian unions and practical advice like breaking the news to your family and the straight world. It takes you from planning the glorious event (with helpful tidbits like how to address invitations and how to find two-groom or two-bride cake toppers) to negotiating vendor contracts to the aftermath. Witty anecdotes, proper etiquette, and unexpected trivia make this an indispensable and truly entertaining resource for same-sex couples who want to plan an unforgettable and perfectly orchestrated wedding. Sprinkled with true stories of men and women who have tied the knot, The Essential Guide to Lesbian and Gay Weddings is a must for anyone just thinking about it or ready to jump into matrimony.
A packet of materials including theological background, five sample services, liturgical resources, and "Personal Witnesses" by those who have been part of such services.
Boswell, John, Same-Sex Unions in Premodern Europe, [New York: Vintage Books, 1995; 464 pp., ISBN 0679751645].
Both highly praised and intensely controversial, this brilliant book produces dramatic evidence that at one time the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches not only sanctioned unions between partners of the same sex, but sanctified them - in ceremonies strikingly similar to heterosexual marriage ceremonies.
"I was deeply in love on three different occasions when I knew myself as a 'queer' and a 'homosexual.' In none of these cases was there any way for us to build a relationship by living openly together with any permanence or peace, due to social anger and churchly condemnation. The fire that burned in my on these occasions could not be extinguished by alcohol, tears, or semen. The fire had to burn itself out. I asked myself: Instead of maintaining a double standard for gay people, why doesn't society permit an honest public legitimization of relations between consenting adults as well as of gay civil rights?"
Whether you are planning a ceremony of your own or simply want to look into the lives of lesbians who have taken this affirming step, Ceremonies of the Heart is the perfect book to read and savor. Filled with ideas on creating unique rituals, the book describes the transformative experiences of twenty-seven couples who celebrated their relationships in wide-ranging ways - from a gala wedding with gowns and cake to a high-spirited Buddhist event under desert skies.
Equal Rites is a much-needed collection of worship services, ceremonies, and celebrations that is attuned to the unique needs of sexual minorities. The selections, written primarily by lesbians and gay men, include rites of spiritual beginnings, healing, blessings, holy communion, and pride and empowerment. Also included are funeral memorial services, seasonal and holiday rites for couples. More that a collection, Equal Rites can also serve as a reference book for creating unique and meaningful worship services that address significant aspects of lesbian and gay spirituality.
What is healthy sexuality for a Christian? This book approaches some of the more difficult-to-discuss areas of human sexuality: the human need for sexual fulfillment; singles and sexual fulfillment; sexual fulfillment in marriage; heterosexual marriage; same sex relationships; and sexual fulfillment in the elder years. The authors distinguish between "life-giving sex" and "life-degrading sex" by establishing four criteria for a healthy relationship: mutual love, mutual respect, mutual openness, and mutual faithfulness. They then discuss healthy sexuality in a variety of life stages and relationships. With a compassionate tone, the authors explore the issues Christian people face with respect to the experience and expression of their sexuality.
Doing the Work of Love creates a bridge between academic work on men and sexuality and popular work on gay male relationships. Clark celebrates the goodness of men's sexual relationships, while adamantly rejecting an "anything goes" approach to gay male sexuality. Clark proposes an ethics of sexual accountability in-relation as a middle ground between those who espouse anonymous multi-partnered sex as the crux of gay identity and those whose current sex panic resounds with sex-negativity.
Deakin, Michelle Bates, Gay Marriage, Real Life: Ten Stories of Love and Family, [Boston: Skinner House Books, 2005; 144 pp., ISBN 1558964916].
This intimate account of ten same-sex couples brings to life how the decision to marry has affected them and their extended families. These personal journeys present a range of experiences, from a mother who became a gay rights activist when her youngest child came out as a lesbian, to a girl whose realization that her fathers were not married spurred the men to join the gay marriage lawsuit in Massachusetts, to a lesbian couple and devoted mothers of twins who fight for same-sex adoption rights in Oklahoma. Deakin chronicles both their private strides toward acceptance and their public struggles to advance gay rights. Thoughtful and timely, Gay Marriage, Real Life tells the powerful and dramatic story of same-sex marriage in America today.
Ellison, Marvin M., Same-Sex Marriage?: A Christian Ethical Analysis, [Cleveland: The Pilgrim Press, 2004; 198 pp., ISBN 0-8298-1560-0].
This critical book is written by a gay man and progressive Christian ethicist who places justice making at the heart of contemporary spirituality. In dialogue with both legal scholars and theologians, Ellison examines the strengths and weaknesses of how marriage traditionalists, advocates of same-sex marriage, and LGBT critics of marriage analyze the issues and frame their arguments. The book offers constructive proposals for revitalizing Christian sexual ethics and moving the debate forward, regardless of whether the right to marry is won or lost.
Issues involving gay rights have a tendency to separate those who normally fall on opposing sides and join those who are usually at odds. Both Clinton and Dole, for example, have supported a recent bill in the Senate to allow other states the right not to recognize same-sex marriages made in Hawaii. Eskridge, a Georgetown University professor, has produced a thoughtful book on this polarizing issue, taking the position that Americans should extend the right of legal marriage to same-sex couples because of the civilizing influence of the marriage bond.
Eight same-gender couples' joyful, historic, legal marriages in faith communities in Massachusetts. At least one person in each couple is a member of the UCC. The resource includes photos of the couples and their reflections on marriage, with additional comments by officiants, family and friends. $14.95
Johnson, William Stacy, A Time to Embrace: Same-Gender Relationships in Religious, Law, and Politics, [Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2007; 330 pp., ISBN 08028296X].
As rhetoric continues to heat up on both sides of the debate over same-gender unions, clearly reasoned statements are in short supply. Watching this debate unfold, lawyer-theologian William Stacy Johnson found that he could be silent no longer. The result is this finely honed book. In A Time to Embrace Johnson presents a brilliant analysis of the religious, legal, and political stakes in the debates over gay marriage, civil unions, and the place of committed gay couples in a democratic society. Carefully weighing the pros and cons from across the moral and religious spectrum, Johnson here offers a fresh, thought-provoking examination of one of the most controversial issues in the West today.
Lavender, Shonnie, and Bruce Mulkey, I Do! I Do! The Marriage Vow Workbook, [Lulu.com, 2006; 112 pp., ISBN 1847280382].
This guide offers a step-by-step resource for couples who want to write unique, eloquent and inspiring wedding vows. The authors have consciously aimed to live up to their vision that all of us are children of God — and thus have created a book inclusive of GLBT people.
Lehr, Valerie, Queer Family Values: Debunking the Myth of the Nuclear Family, [Philadelphia: Temple University Press, 1999; 212 pp., ISBN 1-56639-683-2].
In this book, Valerie Lehr calls into question the forms of oppression - gender, racial, and economic - that lead society to privilege the nuclear family. Lehr asks why debate over the rights of gays and lesbians to take part in a socially defined institution - marriage - that is, she argues, designed to perpetuate inequalities among people? Queer Family Values calls for an approach to family issues and individual liberty that challenges power rather than demands access to privilege. Lehr urges activists to counter conservative discourses that recognize the nuclear family as the only responsible and mature family alternative, and encourages them to advocate social policies that champion the freedoms of all people.
Lewin, who has consecrated her own lesbian relationship with a commitment ceremony, decided to explore the myriad ways in which lesbians and gay men create meaningful ceremonies for themselves. She offers the first comprehensive account of lesbian and gay weddings in modern America. A series of richly detailed profiles-the result of extensive interviews and participation in the planning and realization of many of these commitment rituals-is woven together to show how new traditions, and ultimately new families, are emerging within contemporary America. Just as the book is a moving portrait of same-sex couples today, it is also a significant political document on a new arena in the struggle for lesbian and gay rights. In a larger sense, Lewin's work is about the politics surrounding same-sex marriages and the ramifications for central dimensions of American culture such as kinship, community, morality, and love
Based on Marcus' extensive interviews with 40 long-term lesbian and gay couples from all walks of life about the issues they face, including courtship and commitment, monogamy, communication, work, money, family, sex and intimacy, aging and loss.
Miner, Jeff, and John Tyler Connoley, The Children Are Free: Reexamining the Biblical Evidence on Same-Sex Relationships, [Indianapolis: Jesus Metropolitan Community Church, 2002; 112 pp., ISBN 0971929602].
“If you’re confused by all the misinformation about homosexuality and the Bible, read The Children Are Free. The authors have created a wonderful, timely, easy to read summary of the evidence that will inform and inspire your search. Let the Spirit of Truth set you free.” – Mel White, founder of Soulforce and author of Stranger at the Gate.
Myers, David G., and Letha Dawson Scanzoni, What God Has Joined Together?: A Christian Case for Gay Marriage, [San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 2005; 192 pp., ISBN 0060774614].
An effort to bridge the divide between marriage-supporting and gay-supporting people of faith by showing why both sides have important things to say. By affirming marriage for all, What God Has Joined Together concurs with conservatives' call for marriage renewal and a more marriage-supporting culture. And it concurs with liberals' affirmation of everyone's right, regardless of sexual orientation, to seal love with commitment and to participate fully in the church's life and ministry.
Daniel Maguire's essay, "The Morality of Homosexual Marriage", appears on pp. 120-121.
Wolfson, Evan, Why Marriage Matters: America, Equality, and Gay People's Right to Marry, [New York: Simon & Schuster, 2004; 242 pp., ISBN-13: 978-0-7432-6458-7].
Why is the word marriage so important? Will marriage for same-sex couples hurt the "sanctity" of the institution? How can people of different faiths reconcile their beliefs with the idea of marriage for same-sex couples? How will allowing gay couples to marry affect children? In this quietly powerful volume, the most authoritative and fairly articulated book on the subject, Wolfson demonstrates why the right to marry is important-indeed necessary-for all couples and for American's promise of equality.
A Leap of Faith: An interactive play encouraging dialogue on the issue of Christianity and gay marriage. A Leap of Faith is a touring interactive performance that explores the issue of gay marriage and Christianity by looking at both theology and the day-to-day lives of congregational members. A Leap of Faith can be performed during or after services, at retreats or conferences or during educational meetings. The program lasts anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours. Act for Action developed A Leap of Faith in collaboration with the Community of Welcoming Congregations, Love Makes a Family, church leaders and members of faith communities to encourage community dialogue and understanding on issues pertaining to gay marriage. Each performance can include a facilitated dialogue concerning the issue of gay marriage. Additionally, we will provide curriculum that the hosting organization may choose to utilize before and after the performance. If you are interested in booking a show or want more information, contact: Jeannie LaFrance at 503.287.9628 ext 2 or info@actforaction.org. Download a flier in PDF format. This project is made possible through the generous support of the Regional Arts and Culture Council and the McKenzie River Gathering Foundation.
The Rev. Joe Hoffman, pastor of First Congregational United Church of Christ in Asheville, NC made the announcement in his Sunday morning sermon (Feb. 19, 2006) in an effort to treat his gay and lesbian parishioners the same as heterosexuals — a move that he believes is a first in this area.
A Sermon given at First United Church of Christ, Northfield, MN, February 11, 2007
A Sermon on Marraige Equality given at First Congregational Church, United Church of Christ, River Falls, Wisconsin, Sunday, October 22, 2006
Keynote address at the 1992 National Gathering of the United Church of Christ Coalition for LGBT Concerns.
Given to Lyndale United Church of Christ on Palm/Passion Sunday, April 9, 2006.
Bishop John Selders Jr., pastor of the Amistad United Church of Christ in Hartford, is one of only a few black pastors who support gay marriage. A longtime activist on HIV issues in the African-American community, he helped organize the first Black Church Summit in Atlanta this past January to discuss making churches more welcoming to gays and lesbians. Selders recently became a consultant to Gay & Lesbian Advocates and Defenders (GLAD) and Love Makes A Family in an effort to gain African-American support of marriage equality for gay and lesbian couples. Selders, who has a wife and two children, spoke with Staff Writer Frances Grandy Taylor about why he supports same-gender marriage, and what he thinks it will take to move change the stance of African-American clergy.
A Presentation on Marriage Equality given to First Congregational Church, Cannon Falls, December 7, 2005.
Below are links to additional resources available online developed by other organizations on this topic. IWR is not responsible for links beyond the ones listed. The links below will open in a new browser window.
Three-Year Trend Shows Growing Majority of New Yorkers Support Ending Discrimination in Marriage
Produced by Wider Church Ministries and Justice and Witness Ministries of the United Church of Christ.
Need help talking about GLBT issues? Coming out as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight allies each day means having conversations with family, friends, coworkers and acquaintances almost every day. Do you know what to say if a coworker says, "I don't see why gay marriage is such a big deal. Can't same-sex couples get the same benefits through civil unions?" The Human Rights Campaign has a fun, interactive online guide to keep the conversation going. This new resource literally walks you through conversations about important issues impacting GLBT Americans and their families.
The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force has created this Marriage Information Resource Center as a resource for activists, policymakers, opinion leaders and Americans who are grappling with the issue of marriage equality for same-sex couples.
Inlaws and Outlaws by Drew Emery, [True Stories Project, 2005; 1:33].
As the gay marriage debate rages, this film goes beyond the rhetoric and straight to the heart. Whether loving inside or outside marriage, struggling to get in or suing to get out, this film follows the lives of ordinary folks as they navigate their own path to happily every after.
Jumpin’ the Broom: The New Covenant by Debra A. Wilson, [MOYO Entertainment, 2005; 0:29]
This film highlights Black lesbian and gay couples who share personal and heartfelt stories that challenge levels of intimacy between two people. Their commitment redefines and honors love, family values, politics and religion in today’s society. Features best-selling author Dr. Michael Eric Dyson.
Out in the Heartland explores how Kentucky's recent constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage affects three families and their communities. As momentum pushes the issue from the mega-churches to the ballot box, gay parents begin to fear for their families' safety and future. Out in the Heartland gives a face to those at the center of these amendments, illuminating their long-term consequences for all.
Tying the Knot by Jim de Sève, [USA, Outcast Films, 2004; DVD & VHS 1:22].
Three years in the making, Jim de Sève's powerful documentary on same-sex marriage provides a much needed historical and legal perspective to the political war being waged in the nation today. By using archival footage, news clips, and heartfelt interviews, Tying the Knot examines the institution of marriage today and how it has changed through history: from an historical trip to the middle ages to gay hippies storming the Manhattan marriage bureau in 1971. This eye-opening exploration of the embattled institution looks at rights, privilege and love as gay activists and right-wing politicos lock horns in the fight for marriage.
By taking real life stories from the news headlines, de Sève puts real life struggles on the forefront of this very intense on-going battle for basic civil rights. A tender home video of Florida police officers Mickie Mashburn and Lois Morrero's commitment ceremony is juxtaposed with the agonizing indignity of marriage discrimination when Lois is killed on the job and Mickie is denied her life partner's pension. When his life partner dies, an Oklahoma rancher is booted off the property they built together by estranged cousins of his deceased partner. A New York City police officer and a Pentagon worker endure tremendous suffering after the loss of their life partners in the wake of 9/11. These true accounts powerfully illustrate that, without marriage, same-sex partners are denied both the societal recognition and the legal rights that married couples enjoy. With 1,049 federal rights and protections afforded legally to married couples, the consequences of marriage discrimination are undeniable.
Susan Parker and Wendy Scott were members of the Wake Forest Baptist Church in North Carolina. In 1997 the couple decided to have a union ceremony in Wake Forest University's Chapel, but the university prevented this from happening. A Union in Wait recounts the struggle of Parker and Scott to have their union recognized and the controversy that divided a community.
An embossed certificate to be presented to a couple at their covenant service. Comes with envelope. (6" high by 5" wide)